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23 August 2007 @ 01:05 pm
I'm about to start on my classes this fall, and the one I'm most looking forward to besides Japanese 301 is an introduction to Philosophy.

I was checking out Wikipedia for some quick, generalized knowledge on the expanse of Philosphy because I know that my dad and I have have philosophical discussions in the past and it's really something I feel is a strength of mine.

I found this one part of Philosophy called "Idealism." Now, when I read it, I immediately knew what was meant by it. For reference:

"Idealism is the epistemological doctrine that nothing can be directly known outside of the minds of thinking beings. Or in an alternative stronger form, it is the metaphysical doctrine that nothing exists apart from minds and the "contents" of minds"

Basically, it's the belief that there is no real world, no objects that we hold, nothing we see or touch is really real, it's all in our mind. It's really a trippy idea, and it reminded me of a "dream" I had when I was really young.

Actually, it was more of an idea.

I started out by making a character. I don't remember much except that the character started to lose their mind. It turned into a movie setting, and the fear and aprehension of the character became the focus--

They would be sitting in bed under the covers, and everything would look normal. Nothing would appear out of the ordinary-- what they perceived in their mind was that the room was empty. However, their senses started picking up... reality. What reality was... was that they had a hand wrapped around their ankle, digging fingernails into their skin. They would rip the sheets off to look for the hand... and there would be nothing. No marks from the nails, no bugs or bites to falsify the sensation. Nothing was seen, their perception continued to be normal... just sitting in bed alone. But that wasn't reality-- that was just what they imagined in their head.

Later, it got worse. The alternate reality that they couldn't see started to get larger... now there was something that could move them around, pull them out of bed, push them off their feet. They didn't know what was causing it, and what part was being imagined.

Was there anything they could do to stop it? Were they crazy, or was it something more?

Philosophically, there's nothing to stop you from believing that your mind has the power to separate the senses--- to eat something and never taste it or feel it in your mouth, to feel sensations caused by something you cannot see, to pull your eyes out all while still being able to see and look at your hand holding your own eyes, signifying that the sight you imagined and protected for so long is only a mirage, and that what you see is all in your mind already. Your imagination, however, might be under a protection, to never allow you to break outside the realm of reality.

So what about those people that see hallucinations? Ghosts? What of it is real and what isn't? Is there never a point where what we can see and what we can't overlap?

When I was younger I used to sense spirits in my room, it freaked me out but I didn't want to say anything. Was I imagining it? Was it real?

Just questions.
09 August 2007 @ 01:21 pm
COLORQUIZ results:Collapse )

So yeah, if you read this quiz, now you can say with certainty that I live "off in my own little world" most of the time.

TAKE THE TEST! It's really freaky how SIMPLE it is, from all the detailed answers it gives you.
27 July 2007 @ 10:22 pm
Okay, so I typed up a Otakon '07 Con Report, but it was over four thousand words long.

So I decided just to keep that one private, leave it as a record for myself, and type up a new Con Report for the rest of you since I KNOW you don't want to read my full report.

Image Heavy and long regardless of how short it is.Collapse )

Overall Otakon this year was FUN FUN FUN. Did I not convey that in this report? Saturday was my favorite day and I MET A LOT OF REALLY AWESOME PEOPLE. The schedule for this year was terrible, but it was fine because the schedule ends up getting in the way anyway. I'm not sorry I didn't cosplay because everyone loved my outfit anyway and I felt comfortable being myself. This year I had an incredible ability to recognize people again and again, and I had no trouble asking for pictures whenever I thought of it. When I was in the Dealer's Room I spent money without thinking about whether or not Mom would approve, and I ended up with things I know I won't regret buying!

I bought:
1 small messenger-style shoulder bag to replace the backpack I used the last three years, awesome decision. See picture above. $12
1 pair of Zombie Eyes. $45
1 Phantasmagoria shirt by Jpophouse (T.T I'm gonna miss them) $14
1 D'espairsRay Pig-Headed tour mirror to replace the older Despa one I bought at Otakon years ago that just broke this year $19
1 pair of red and black cyberesque hair falls $20
1 O-ring leather bracelet to match my choker (undercharged by the nice guy at the booth too XD) $8
1 knockoff Vivienne Westwood armor ring $25
1 black Monokuro Boo button $1

total: 8 items. $140. I need to bring more money next year, I know that.

It was worth going, even though for the last three months I had SERIOUS, HUGE doubts whether or not it would be ANY fun or if I'd EVER go to Otakon again, but now I know for sure I want to go next year. <3 And I want to cosplay Gara of Merry from the Ringo to Uso PV in his white corset costume. :3

My goals for next year are:
Learn to apply more eye makeup. Make it more dramatic!
Collect buttons.
Buy more Japanese brand clothes to wear next year.
Get myself a pair of white creepers.
Get a better digi-camera with more megapixels. :(
Have a running website.
Print out cards with my email address/aim/name/etc to hand out to people I meet and photographers that take my picture.
Earn more money to spend in the Dealer's Room and the Alley.

My biggest goal is to share a booth in the Artist's Alley for one day. For that I need to draw more, improve more, and find a way to make things to sell, but I think I can do it because there aren't artists in the Alley like me, and it only costs $35 to have half a table. I can dream, can't I? I think a goal like that will motivate me over this next year, even when I won't be taking an art class. And I know that if I'd known what I was capable of drawing before I finished I'd take myself more seriously and end up with a better, more sellable product. What do ya'll think? :P Any comments? (on my ideas or anything in the entire report) Talk peeps! <3
04 May 2007 @ 11:22 am
Check out The new Moonshine.
14 February 2007 @ 04:26 pm
I wrote a report for the MUCC live I went to in August last year and never posted it, but I promise I'll be better this year. Which is why I'm putting it here. At least now LJ has an auto-save thing.

Under a cut because it's MASSIVECollapse )
10 December 2006 @ 04:34 pm
29 July 2005 @ 05:34 pm
Old list cut for lengthCollapse )

MUST-HAVE ALBUMS (in somewhat of an order by importance):

D'espairsRay: [Coll:set]
Merry: Gendai Stoic, then PEEP SHOW, then Modern Garde and Nu Chemical Rhetoric
Vidoll: V.I.D.~ Very Important Doll (CD-only version with Roid-Chang bonus track)
Scissor: Number Cut #2
Dir en Grey: Gauze
Gazette: Nil
Schwarz Stein: New Vogue Children
Pierrot: Heaven the Customized Landscape and Private Enemy
Velvet Eden: Either Ningen Shoukan or Street of Alice.
Deadman: No Alternative
Blood: Noises

D'espairs Ray: ALL of their singles/mini-albums EXCEPT Kogoeru Yoru Ni Saita Hana and SQUALL because I bought those for myself. NUMBER ONE priority = MAVERICK.
Current Mood: wishful
30 May 2005 @ 08:13 pm
Current Music: Muse - Endlessly